


Like It's Nothing

by gooberzayn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Endgame Niall Horan/Zayn Malik, M/M, Past Niall Horan/Liam Payne, Pegging, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 03:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooberzayn/pseuds/gooberzayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>University AU in which Niall likes one nights stands, but Zayn doesn't, and Niall has commitment issues, but he likes Zayn and Harry likes everyone and Liam is of course the voice of reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like It's Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> This was written because I love breaking fic tropes and for Mahima who said “Why can’t niall be the emotionally stunted manipulative cunning charming one in a fic for once?” and then Karen commented “throw in a dash of commitment issues and I’m sold” and that's basically what I tried to do.
> 
> Thank you to Ellie Zaynbending for Beta-ing for me!
> 
> Also if you look closely there are a few other celebrities used in here. ;)

It’s hot, and the lights are dim and there are so, so many people, in this one little room because it’s the beginning of the semester and apparently they all have no where else to be.

 

Niall pushes his way through the massive crowd of people to look at his prospects for the night.

“He’s kinda cute.” His friend Liam yells over the music. He points to a brown haired boy who reminds Niall of Peter Pan.

“Cute for you. You’re a physical fitness major and he looks like the football type.”

“True, what about the friend bringing him drinks?”

“How do you know it’s not his boyfriend?”

“They’re not making out, and we’re at a frat party.”

“Fair enough.”

 

They make their way over to the boys, and before Niall knows it Peter Pan’s friend is grinding up against him to some pop song. This is how Niall’s nights go. He can basically get anyone to sleep with him all he does is smile and talk. It usually features some form of them calling him cute and then sneaking off into the bathroom or the back of the club, or a bedroom of some sort, and this wasn’t going to be any different.

The boy looks like a model, and his name is Zayn, but in his head Niall keeps calling him model-boy. His hair is up in a quiff, and he backs himself as closely into Niall as he can. Niall leads him to the back of the room, and they make out for a while until Niall whispers a deep

“Wanna go back to my place?” in his ear, and Zayn’s cute, and a little tipsy, and he whispers back

 

“I don’t really do one night stands.” and Niall pulls back, because _of course._ “It was nice meeting you, though” and Zayn kisses him one more time. It’s so soft and sweet, and Niall thinks it’s actually really disgusting that Zayn would kiss him like that, especially after informing him that he’s not going to suck him off. They part pretty quickly after that, and Niall leaves it alone.

 

He finds a pretty brown skinned girl and eats her out and fucks her until she's clinging to him. She wasn’t as pretty as Zayn, but, though he had no way of knowing, he was sure she was just as tight.

 

Liam was being too silent for Niall to not think something was up, but he was too absorbed in his engineering book to actually pay attention.

“I was gonna invite Louis over this weekend if that was okay.” Niall gets up to cross the kitchen for another piece of toast.

“‘s okay with me.”

“Well, I was going to, and I did.”

“Are you kicking me out?”

“No, no. But he said he’d feel more comfortable if he could bring a friend.”

“So, you’re making me your wingman?”

“Not... exactly?” and Liam stood up and walked into the kitchen with Niall.

“What is it, then?”

“Remember the guy you made out with? Zayn?” and of course Niall remembered. He couldn’t really forget the boy who was so beautiful that he should be fucking everything that moves but he apparently doesn’t do one night stands which Niall thinks is probably the most tragic thing to happen in the entire universe.

“He’s coming?”

“Yea...”

and Niall sighs “Liaaaaaam you know how I feel about seeing people I’ve hooked up with or wanted to hook up with but was rejected by.”

“I know, I know it’s weird for everyone involved, but please? Louis said Zayn didn’t seem to have a problem with it, and he’s really cute.”

“I know he’s cute I made out with him.”

“I meant Louis. _Louis is cute_ , and just _please?”_

“Fine.” Niall said “I’ll run interference as best I can, but you have to sing on a track with me for my midterm.” and Niall turned to leave the kitchen, but Liam put an arm around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder.

“I will but please be nice? Louis and Zayn are best friends if Zayn doesn’t like us, then Louis won’t, either.”

“Since when are we a package?”

“We’ve been a package for about two years now, darling.” And Liam kissed him on the cheek and released him.

 

So, Louis and Zayn came over, and as natural college students who didn’t know how to interact with each other did, they got drunk. Niall didn’t even know what he was drinking he just knew that Liam had bought a lot of stuff. By the middle of the night Louis was doing body shots off Liam, and Zayn and Niall were half-assed playing video games. They stopped as soon as they realized that neither one of them was actually paying attention, and began chanting SHOTS! loudly at Liam and Louis.

The four of them were kinda crawling all over each other, but it was clear that Liam and Louis were vibing. If one moved, the other would, and they kept making what Niall could only describe as goo goo faces at each other. He wished they’d just fuck already and get this courting mess over with.

Niall noticed that Zayn was surprisingly mellow. He asked about what they were majoring in. Zayn was double majoring in English and Vocal performance and minoring in art which Niall thought was all too much for one person, but Zayn assured him that he was going to graduate on time. Zayn payed attention to everything. He watched everyone, and he made annoyingly endearing jokes every time someone said something idiotic, and Niall thought for a moment that maybe he should try for the one night stand again, but he promised not to mess it up for Liam. So, he didn’t.

Louis was majoring in business and minoring in theater and linguistics. Niall didn’t understand how any of those things fit together, but figured that that’s the exact type of combination of things that Louis would do.

 

When Niall woke up his head felt heavy, and he felt like he’d been through an obstacle course at a naval base 300 times. He looked around and Louis and Liam were nowhere to be found. He tried to lift up, but noticed that Zayn was laying on him, and for a moment he wanted to keep him there. He looked different like this; hair all floppy, and face soft with his eyes darting back and forth behind his eyelids. He felt a weird tingling in the pit of his stomach and lifted himself up to sitting abruptly, and Zayn jumped up.

“Yea, I don’t really... cuddle or whatever.” Niall said

“Right.” Zayn said as he got up from the couch. He grabbed his jacket, and left out the door with a “See ya later.”

It was awkward, and Niall knew it was, but he couldn’t be bothered to care when he had such a massive hangover.

 

They ended up being just like that for the next few weeks. Zayn and Louis would come over and they’d get really drunk. Liam and Louis would either pass out on the floor and then all four of them would be tangled in a mess, or they’d disappear in the middle of the night and Zayn and Niall would wake up touching each other in some way, and awkwardly separate themselves the next morning. It shifted from Niall waking up abruptly to Niall waking up alone, and while he was okay with it, he acknowledged that he kind of missed waking up next to Zayn... not enough to tell him or actually do something about it, but he missed it.

 

* * *

 

Niall couldn’t stay up late, because he has some music seminar to get to in the morning, but Louis and Zayn were still invited over for a movie. Zayn brought his new (or old, Niall really doesn’t remember) friend Harry over, and Niall’s sure they’ve fucked. Harry is giggly, and pliant, and he likes to cuddle with everyone. The first time he sees Niall he says to him “You’re really cute.” and gives him a big goofy smile. Niall thinks Harry is almost too adorable and Zayn just says

“Watch out for Niall, Harry. He’ll charm your pants off I swear.” and smiles and Harry says

“Well, I just might let him.”

 

Harry sat on Zayn’s lap the entire time they were watching the movie and Louis and Liam were curled together on the loveseat and Niall began to wonder why he gave up having steady sex every weekend to hang out with these people and be the fifth wheel. He glanced over at Harry and Zayn every so often and they were always whispering in each other’s ears or running their fingers along each other’s thighs, or playing in each other’s hair, and Niall thinks it’s gross. Not too gross, but Zayn was so hot and sweet and quiet, and it makes no sense that he’d like someone like Harry who is so obvious and embarrassing. Then, he remembered that he doesn’t care, and pushed the last bit of frustration out of his voice to announce that he’s going to bed.

Harry lunged over to the other side of the couch and straddled Niall and pulled his head into his chest like he was never going to let him go, and it was uncomfortable, and Niall wondered why a boy he just met was already so attached to him.

“Why?”

“I have to shower and then get up in the morning.” Niall says, letting out a high-pitched laugh. “Can you please let me go?”

 

Zayn reached over and pulled them apart “He’s not really into that, Harry.”

“Yea,” Liam says “That’s his nervous laugh.” and Harry lifted himself off of Niall.

“Sorry.” Harry said

“It’s okay.” and Niall got up from the couch, and went into the bathroom to shower.

 

When he got out he sent a text to Liam, and soon after Harry walked into the bathroom.

He lets Harry lick him out, then fucks him in the bathtub, and makes him moan his name loudly so that Zayn will hear. His night wasn’t wasted, Harry was a good lay, and he could sleep better knowing that he and Zayn weren’t a thing.

 

The next morning he slowly snuck out of the apartment, careful not to wake Liam, and drove to the University. The seminar was actually more like a career fair to get you connections in the industry. Niall was making rounds and hearing his name whispered everywhere. His natural charm and cuteness working for him excellently in this type of setting. Near the end of the seminar he spotted someone. A boy in a blazer, and a proper button up shirt, with his hair slicked back, and slacks on, and it took him exactly three seconds to realize that it was Zayn looking as dapper as he’d ever seen him. He was talking to someone, but his effect seemed to be different from Niall’s. While Niall charmed people into a comfortable submission, Zayn seemed to mesmerize them into compliance. Niall made people nice to him, he made them want to interact with him, Zayn’s energy made them want to please him. He wasn’t really sure which one was best.

He went up to Zayn after the seminar and invited him for lunch. They ended up at some little restaurant not too far from the apartment, and ordered burgers and talked about their prospects in the music industry.

 

“If things don’t work out I’ll just get my teaching degree and teach high schoolers.”

“If things get too bad I’ll sample your rifts for my beats and you can stay in my guest bedroom.” Niall choked out between gulps of water.

“Ah you’ve thought about this extensively, then?”

Niall blushed. “No, it was just a fleeting thought kinda thing.”

“It’s okay, Niall. I know you were just kidding.” Zayn said and laughed at him.

“No, it’s good that you have a back up plan. It’s responsible.”

“I used to think so. Then Ed said something about you don’t have a backup plan you make work no matter what, and I got all indecisive. It makes me feel like I don’t really believe in myself.”

“You’ll be fine. I’ve heard you sing along to Disney movies and I saw the way that scout was looking at you today. It’ll all be okay.” And Zayn smiled at him, his eyes glistening a little, and Niall wondered if that was supposed to give him more tummy tingling or not.

 

They went their separate ways for the day and Louis and Zayn and Harry all ended up back at Niall and Liam’s apartment for the night. Except Niall and Zayn were kind of tired from waking up so early and Harry was clingy. He isn’t the annoying type of clingy, though. Niall just kind of... got used to him. He’s like a large growth on his side that he just forgets about, and he hops between all of them. He might be grinding on Niall trying to give him a lap dance or whispering into what Niall was very certain was Zayn’s neck and _not_ his ear, or nose-kissing Liam or running his fingers through Louis’ hair. He wasn't stationary, but when he got to you there was a pretty good chance he was going to cling to you for at least a half hour.

Niall and Zayn started to scoot closer and closer to each other on the floor the sleepier they got and Niall thought to himself _Oh, this is how this happens._ He tucked himself up under Zayn and fell asleep. He woke up alone, on the floor, wishing he would’ve at least felt the other boys moving before they left so he _wouldn't_ wake up alone on the floor.

 

It’s not that Niall is confused, or sad, or super teen angst-y about anything; he knows he likes Zayn, he understands what he’s going through. He just doesn’t see the point, and thinks that if he doesn’t see it, then there’s really no use in him doing anything. Everything was fine the way it was. He just wished he could keep himself under control. He wished he hadn’t fucked Harry, ‘cause maybe then Zayn could have him and he wouldn’t have anything to worry about. He wished he could wake up next to Zayn every morning and not feel weird and fuck it up. He wished he could start going out on the weekends again, but he knows his want to see Zayn outweighs it. He wished he’d never met the model-boy who was sweet and soft, and who always seemed to forgive him for making things awkward.

The next weekend Niall knew everyone was desperate because they weren’t drinking anything and everyone was fucking giggling like they’re in the eighth grade. Louis was extra handsy for some reason. He bent Zayn over in front of the sofa and grinded against his ass while Zayn made fake moaning sounds through giggles, and Niall couldn’t really help but laugh as he sat on the other end of the couch. He was sure Zayn’s smile was contagious at this point. Louis stopped, and walked over to him, and straddled him on the couch while playing with his hair.

 

“Niall, you’re so cute.” he says, his eyes  darting quickly back and forth all over Niall’s face as if it was too much to take in and he had to look at it all in tiny pieces. Niall just let out a loud laugh.

“You are!” Louis says and ducks down to kiss his neck. Niall looks over at Liam who gives him a nod, and a smile, and lets Louis continue placing little pecks on his neck. He kissed him, because it doesn’t mean anything, and Louis comes up from it saying

“It’s a shame you don’t want a boyfriend.”

Niall shrugged “Not really my style.” and Liam walked over and says

“My mouth was the only thing that could keep this one tame for more than one night." Louis lifted himself off of Niall, and sat down next to him, then pulled him over onto his lap like he and Liam had been planning this all night.

Louis bring his mouth to Niall’s ear “But you don’t want a boyfriend do you? You just want a good fuck, right?” There’s an edge to Louis’ voice, but it’s still light and playful, and now Niall _knows_ they’d been planning this. Louis sucks on his neck, and wraps his arms around his waist, grinds up onto him, and Niall gets lost in it for a moment. He comes back when Liam kisses him on the cheek and asks

“Is this okay, babe?” Niall nods, and smiles. Any time that he doesn’t have to go to a crowded party to figure out his prospects for the night is okay with him. Liam leans down in front of Niall and carefully pulls off his pants and boxers at once. He isn’t hard yet but he knows that’s not going to be a problem for Liam, he sucks at the skin at the very bottom of Niall’s belly and it makes Niall’s dick twitch. He looks up at him the entire time. Liam’s attentive, he always has been, and it’s a big part of why he’s so good at what he does. He trails his mouth down to Niall’s dick and trails the tip of his tongue all over it. Niall locks his eyes on Liam, and bites his lip, squeezing at the fabric on the couch. He swirls it around the tip and takes him in his mouth letting out a loud “mmmmm” as he lowers himself down, and Niall goes completely hard in his mouth from the vibrations. He gets desperate and ruts his hips up into Liam’s mouth and Liam’s eyes flutter closed, letting Niall fuck his face for a bit before he reaches his hands up and steadies him. He looks back up at Niall and lowers his lips all the way down to the base of his dick, and Niall’s swimming. Louis’ mouth is still attached to his neck, and he throws his head back, leaning it on Louis’ shoulder and closes his eyes.

 

He feels a warm hand on his cheek and blinks his eyes open. Through the haze of arousal Zayn somehow looks even better than usual, and Niall’s sure that if he concentrates hard enough he can pretend Zayn’s riding him.

“You okay?” and Niall gives him an almost pained expression, because Liam is clearly getting cocky about his blowjob skills and he could barely concentrate on anything. He lets out a low moan, and Zayn smiles, kisses him like he did the first time they met, but it’s not disgusting, and he gets that tingly feeling in his tummy, and he doesn’t want him to stop. He does, though, and Niall has to hold back a whimper.

 

Louis noses at Niall’s cheek and whispers to him to not come yet, and Niall’s babbling. He feels a slick finger slowly push inside him and wonders how Louis found the time to do that, everything seemed to be happening so fast. Liam stops and he curses him for the loss of contact, but his thoughts run together when Louis pushes another finger in. When he finally lets out a breathless _I’m ready_ Louis lifts him up, and turns him around so that he’s straddling him.

“I want to see what that cute face looks like while you’re being fucked.” he says to him, and his voice is still light, and Niall lunges forward and kisses him, and it still doesn’t mean anything, but it feels good. He lowers himself down onto Louis’ dick and places his arms on either side of Louis’ head. Holding onto the top of the couch for leverage. Louis holds onto his hips, and fucks up into Niall. He’s even and a little rough and Niall loves it. He catches a glimpse of Zayn straddling Harry, grinding on him, and squeezes his eyes shut, reaching down to palm at his own cock, and he comes like that, all over Louis’ shirt with ragged breath, and all strung out from over stimulation.

 

He goes limp, and Liam catches him, lifts him up off of Louis and carries him into his bedroom. Liam tucks Niall under his covers and kisses his forehead.

“You were brilliant.”

“It could’ve been me and you, ya know.” Niall says, half asleep, and completely serious.

“Ah, but it wasn’t, was it?” Liam smiles at him, and Niall lifts up and kisses him, because it does mean something, and he feels his tummy tingling again.

Liam pulls back first, slowly “I know I meant something to you, Niall. It’s okay.” and Niall nods, and Liam leaves. He doesn’t know how he manages to fall asleep so quickly with all the moaning coming from his living room, but he does.

 

He woke up the next morning to the sound of chatter and the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through to his room. He pulled on a pair of boxers and walked out to find everyone still there. Zayn immediately gets up and hugs him, and quickly lets go

“Sorry... glad to see you’re awake.”

Niall let out another high-ptiched laugh “‘s okay. Yea... I was kinda... worn out.”

Across the room he saw Liam and Louis high five each other.

“I saw that you bastards.” he half-yelled, and they just laughed in response.

“Your plate’s on the counter, Niall.” Liam said. He grabbed it and sat down on the couch, Zayn and Harry at the other end, and he thought maybe they were really cute together. Harry was pretending to feed Zayn like a toddler and Zayn was a little annoyed, but only in a way that made the whole thing cuter.

 

He went out on his own to a pub that night, found a girl named Selena, and fucked her up against the wall in the bathroom. After they’re done he kisses her as softly as he can and she thinks it’s sweet, but he knows better.

 

Weeks went by, and Niall ended up spending less and less of his weekends at home. He started to go out more. He picked up any and every person he thought would help keep his mind off of Zayn for a moment. He met a girl named Katie who rode him like a porn star and a boy named Avan who blew him in the bedroom of a flat. He met a freshman named Ellie at some mixer for their Uni and she told him she’s just _ready to lose her virginity and get it over with_. He’s gentle with her, eats her out until he’s sure she can’t get any wetter, and takes everything slow, and sweet, kissing her through even thrusts, and holding her close when they’re done.

He thinks that’s something Zayn would do.

He met a girl named Zira who took him back to her place, and pegged him. He whispers Zayn’s named quietly in his head while he grips her sheets. _It’s too close_ he thinks to himself.

He brought a boy named Jason home on a friday when everyone is in the house, and pulled him quickly passed everyone, glancing at Zayn only for a second. He closes his eyes and rides him, and ends up imagining Zayn being under him the entire time. He climaxes hard, and shaking knowing the method he’s using to try to get over Zayn isn’t working and he should just go back to hanging with his friends.

 

Liam’s not talking again so Niall knows something is wrong.

 

“Are you gonna be weird all night?” Niall asks him.  
“I dunno are you gonna be weird for the next few weeks?”

“How am I being weird?”

“You’re not even inviting me to go out with you anymore.”

“I figured you were busy with the polyamorous group of friends we’ve recently acquired.”

Liam sighed “Niall, I know this is about you and Zayn.”

“So.”

“So? Talk to him?”

“No. Every time I do something around him I fuck it up.”

“How?”

“Well for one thing I couldn’t get him to shag me the first time we met.”

“Niall.” Liam sounded like an annoyed dad.

“Well, you did this you’ve pushed me into this awkward relationship with someone I kinda have feelings for and was already awkward with because he rejected me all so you could get your dick wet.”

“He’s a football player, Niall.” Liam’s voice was whiny

“Liam.” Now Niall sounded like an annoyed dad.

“I know, but that doesn’t mean this is my responsibility. You’re gonna have to tell Zayn how you feel.”

“I don’t. I like him. That’s it. I don’t want to marry the bloke of have his babies or cook for him in the morning.”

“Well, what do you want?”

“I don’t know. Just for him to like me back I guess which is kinda shitty you know I’m not good with this stuff.”

“Niall, you’re an adult you’re going to have to be good with this stuff eventually.”

“Actually no I’m going to work in the music industry so I’ll actually be able to fuck any unsuspecting artist who's hoping for a record deal.”

“Niall.” Liam’s voice is low

“I will do something. Maybe.”

“Please?”

“I’ll... try.”

“...I’ll take it.” and Liam dropped the subject.

 

Harry still liked sitting on Zayn and giving him lapdances and Niall still thought it was the most annoying thing ever and Louis and Liam are out, and it’s just him with them on the other side of the couch giggling over Toy Story so it’s no surprise that he obnoxiously yelled out “I could do that, too, you know.” at Harry. And to his surprise, instead of Harry laughing, he just moved himself off of Zayn’s lap, and looked over at Niall expectantly.

Niall couldn’t do it. He knew he couldn’t do it, but he huffed out a breath, and inched down the couch and awkwardly sat down on top of Zayn. Zayn’s face was calm and he lightly placed his hands over Niall’s hips

“Just... moved your hips in a circle, or back and forth.” Zayn smiled at him, and he felt a little better. “It’s like riding someone except.. you want your dicks to touch.” Niall nodded, and began to slowly move his hips back and forth over Zayn, creating friction between them. Zayn was half hard rubbing against him, and he leaned forward, resting his forehead on Zayn’s shoulders while still moving his hips. This wasn’t what Harry and Zayn were doing. They were slow, and only Harry was moving before. Zayn was moving under him, and Harry was rubbing his back. They were purposely trying to fuck him up, and he didn’t like it. He could hear Harry moaning behind them and figured he was wanking to it.

“Feel good?” Zayn asked through pants. He nods.

Harry stopped them, pulled them apart and turned Niall over so that he was sitting in Zayn’s lap, and pulled down his pants. It’s just like Louis and Liam had him weeks ago, and he hoped it meant Zayn would be fucking him.

Harry isn’t like Liam at all. He doesn’t do any stuff before or anything fancy he just takes Niall in his mouth and sucks his dick like he’ll never be able to do it again. Niall sees colors, and stars, and probably everything else they talk about on the Lucky Charms commercial. He felt Zayn grinding against him, fully hard through his pants now, and couldn’t help but moan his name. He felt weak and open and just let out strings of _Zayn, Zayn, Zayn_ , and Zayn’s response was to place kisses all over his neck and jaw and whisper _It’s okay, Niall. I’ve got you._

He was holding his hips even tighter, and his thrusts were less even. When Niall felt him come, just from that, he was sent over edge and spilled into Harry’s mouth, which Harry gladly swallowed.

They were all panting, and Niall stood up, pulling Zayn behind him, and motioning for Harry to get up off of the floor. He led them into his bedroom, and pointed at the bed. Harry plopped down first, but Niall went to get Zayn a pair of pants to sleep in.

“Unless you’d rather sleep in spunk.” Niall said, and Zayn crowds him against the wall, and asks him to _Please kiss him like he means it_ , and Niall tried, he really did. He was soft, and most certainly not sexual and put his hands in Zayn’s hair and after Zayn smiled, changed, and crawled into bed, pushing Harry off to the side. Niall crawled into bed facing Zayn.

“Do you have any idea how many drunken conversations I’ve had with you while you were half asleep?” Zay whispers

“No?”

“You’re honest when you’re sleepy, or when you’ve just had an orgasm.”

Niall was quiet. He just moved closer to Zayn, tucked his head under his chin, and put his legs over his. He ran his fingers along Zayn’s back, and felt him kiss his hair until he falls asleep. When he woke up Zayn and Harry were gone.

 

He invited Zayn over late during the week. Zayn made Niall shower and when he came out, he layed him face-down on the bed and whispered in his ear that he’d been dying to do this since they met. He licks him out and his tongue fucking magical. Niall is sure that if he had a clit he’d want no one’s tongue on it but Zayn’s. Then, he flips him over and pushes his legs back, licks him, and tugs on his dick, and Niall grips his covers and bites his pillows, and says Zayn’s name over and over again like it’s the only word he knows. He comes in a wave, and pulls Zayn on top of him and holds him close, and they sleep like that. They don’t talk, and when he wakes up Zayn is still gone.

 

When he got out of bed he asked Liam why Zayn never stays.

“Have you told him you want him to stay?” Liam asks him in a _this is basic stuff, Niall_ voice

“I’ve... made it obvious.”

“Obvious for me or obvious for Zayn?”

“Same thing! Why can’t Zayn be like you then I wouldn’t have to do all of this.”

“If Zayn was like me you’d be living with him by now in a strictly platonic sometimes-we-fuck friendship... and I still always leave the next morning.”

Niall sighed “It’s just hard for me to talk about stuff.”

“I know, Niall, but like I said. If you want something with Zayn... whatever it is, you’re going to have to talk to him about it. Otherwise you’re just going to be grunting at him and Harry from the other end of the couch for the rest of our college lives.”

“I can’t talk to him if I don’t even know what I want.”

“You could tell him that.”

And Niall was annoyed because he knew Liam was probably right in some sense, but that didn’t make it any easier.

 

All the boys came over that weekend, and Harry was still all over Zayn (technically he was all over everyone, but Niall only cared when he was all over Zayn) and Niall couldn’t understand for the life of him why it wasn’t him instead. He got up, and walked into the kitchen. Zayn followed him.

 

“Are you okay?” Zayn’s voice is soft and Zayn’s always soft and gentle and calm and Niall thinks it’s annoying and attractive all at once.

“Yea, I’m fine.” He grabs a beer out of the refrigerator and slams it shut. He goes to walk off, but Zayn pulls him back.

“If you have a problem with something you can tell me, you know.”

“I don’t. I’m fine.” Zayn steps closer

“Can I kiss you?” and Niall nods. Zayn closes the space between them, and slowly presses their lips together, and Niall likes it. He likes it a lot in a weird way that has nothing to do with him wanting to fuck Zayn and he thinks that’s not really fair. He’s sure that liking someone is tied to wanting to fuck them, but he’s also sure that if they just did this for the rest of his life he’d be perfectly fine. He feels more tingling in his stomach and quickly pulls away.

“Right.” Zayn says, his voice a little shattered. He leaves the kitchen, and then Niall hears the front door slam. He walks out, Harry, Louis, and Liam all looking up at him puzzled.

“I’ll... go get him.” and he grabbed his jacket and went outside. He caught Zayn in front of the elevator, not even off of their floor yet.

“Zayn.”

“Niall, you can’t just act like you’re jealous of me and Harry for whatever, and then treat me like you only want me for a shag... That’s not fair.” He turns to face him, and his eyes are a little red. Niall was not sure if he was crying or if he was just tired.

“I’m sorry, Zayn.”

“Yea, I know.” And Niall was frantic, Zayn turned and pushed the button for the elevator a bunch of times really quickly like it would make it come faster. Niall grabbed him by his shirt, and kissed him. For a moment it was all okay, and Zayn was kissing him back, and pulling him closer, and then he was pushing him off.

“No, Niall. Not like this. Why won’t you just talk to me?”

“Why won’t you just know how I feel?” Niall knew that wasn’t fair, but it was the only thing that came to his mind, he knew he sounded like a 13 year old, but he didn't really care.

“I don’t know how you feel, because you can’t communicate anything passed I wanna fuck and never speak to you again.”

“I never said I didn’t want to speak to you anymore.”

“Yea, but that’s what you would’ve done the first night we met.” Zayn took a deep breath. “I’m okay with fucking you every once in a while, okay? I just need you to not act like you’re upset at me and Harry for also fucking every once in a while.”

“No.” and now they were yelling at each other.

“Why?”

“Because. He’s messy and obvious and always all over everyone, and you’re quiet, and subtle, and opposites don’t actually attract.”

“So this is about Harry you don’t want me to be with him?”

“No. I want you to... I don’t know! ...I don’t know, Zayn. I don’t know and it’s fucked up, isn’t it?”

“I know it’s hard for you to talk about shit, Niall, but you can’t like fuck me over in the process.”

“I’m not trying to... I like you... and the only person I’ve actually kind of liked in the past few years is Liam, and I kinda fucked that up, too.”

“I’m not Liam.”

“I know. If you were it’d be easier because Liam knows me in and out.” They quieted down.

“...before I thought you’d warm up to me, and then you started going out so I just... it’s okay that you don’t know, we can figure that out I just need to know that I mean something to you.”

“You do...”

“Why did you pull away when I kissed you?”

“It was more like an aversion to... emotion...”

Zayn took a deep breath "I can deal with you being afraid, Niall. I can't deal with you pulling away from me all the time, though."

"I... won't..." Niall felt kind of wobbly, like the ground under him wasn't steady anymore.

“...Wanna try again?” and Niall nodded, smiling a little. “Is that a nervous smile?”

“Yea... the good kind, though. You can even ask Liam if you want.”

“Haha I’ll take your word for it.” Zayn moved closer and whispered "Stop me if you’re uncomfortable" into Niall’s mouth before pressing their lips together, and Niall felt more tingling, but he kept going, pulling Zayn closer to him. The tingling turned into a low burn when Zayn pressed his tongue past his lips and into his mouth. It slowly faded away when Zayn took a second to whisper "I’ve got you." and Niall was just comfortable. His fingers pressing into Zayn’s hips and Zayn carefully holding his face.

 

Zayn pulled away first.

“Was that okay?” Zayn asks him in a soft voice.

“Yea.”  
“Is this okay?” he ducks down and kisses his neck. Niall just moves closer to Zayn. A few people come off of the elevator, and they both go rigid, Zayn pushing himself as close to Niall’s possible and Niall burying his face on Zayn’s shoulder. They laugh when they’re sure the people are gone.

“Maybe we should finish this inside?” Niall asks, and Zayn complies. Holding his hand and trailing behind him as they walked back into the apartment and straight into Niall’s room.

They wasted no time sloppily pulling clothes off, and clumsily falling onto the bed. Niall lays Zayn on his back, and kisses him, pushes one wet finger inside and watches his face go all tense with pleasure. He thought watching the faces he made while he opened him up probably the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and then he pushed himself inside and saw Zayn’s eyes glaze over a little. He lets out a high moan like he’s trying to sing some complicated note, and Niall knows he’s done this before but he’s so tight and he’s upset he didn’t just stop being a douche so he could do this three months ago. He can only partially concentrate on Zayn’s face because he’s pretty much spent, and when Zayn tells him he’s being waiting on him to fuck him since the day they met he’s done, going limp and scooting down give Zayn a messy blowjob until he comes in his mouth.

Zayn pulls him back up and kisses him, and when he presses his tongue into his mouth Zayn sucks on it like he’s being dying to taste himself. Niall calls him dirty, and Zayn say he likes it and they fall asleep tangled in each other with limbs kind of everywhere, and bodies kind of everywhere, and mouths kind of on everything, and Niall doesn’t remember if he asks Zayn not to leave in the morning or not, but when he wakes up, he’s still there.

 

 

* * *


End file.
